02.35 am mix with Dashboard Confensional's songs...
It's been my last-14-month-problem. It is a matter of jealousy.
I'm so tired of being jealous, close-minded and shallow. I really dont know how to start this kind of story since it would relate with some people. I'm trying to say it with my point of view, me, me and me.
For the last 14 months of my relationship with a boy, i have been suffering with a thing called stupid jealousy. I am jealous with a girl who used to be his. Of course i have particular reason why should i concern about her which wouldn't be named one by one, but most likely those will be stupid, cliche and childish.
One night, We ended in the conversation that took her as a part of it. And again the same feeling, feeling of anger, shame, unfaithful, intolerance, and so on and so on came and ruined a nice conversation that we had that night. I couldnt control myself, as a human being, to react positively or at least pretend to be cool. Everytime this name is said, spelled, and involved, the same feeling came to my mind, brain and of course the most sensitive, my heart.
Then, he said that he's so tired with my 14-month-problem. He's so sick of explaining and convincing me about her. After a while of silence, he said the sharpest sentence ever to me.
"Why you never trust me? That would cause lie. I prefer not to say and talk anything about her with you, to avoid your absurd jealousy. That was what you were doing with Firman as well, you prefered not to say than have to face his 1000 questions!"
I was increadibly speechless...that was right, all acceptable.
That was exactly what i was doing. It became one of the case of my brakeup. I realize that honesty would always be an important thing in relationship, but sometimes there are so many reasons behind why we prefer not to be honest, and my case is one of them.
Here, I sort of promise honestly and full of profundity that I will believe you faithfully. I wont ask for another convincing statement or another i-love-you that made a fake comfort for me. I do tired of being like this. I want get rid all of this 'T' thing. And i will start by saying..
"Hit me with your stories, even the most jealous-making one. And I wont be jealous at all ! 2 euros per jealous-movement! ahahhahaha"
It's been my last-14-month-problem. It is a matter of jealousy.
I'm so tired of being jealous, close-minded and shallow. I really dont know how to start this kind of story since it would relate with some people. I'm trying to say it with my point of view, me, me and me.
For the last 14 months of my relationship with a boy, i have been suffering with a thing called stupid jealousy. I am jealous with a girl who used to be his. Of course i have particular reason why should i concern about her which wouldn't be named one by one, but most likely those will be stupid, cliche and childish.
One night, We ended in the conversation that took her as a part of it. And again the same feeling, feeling of anger, shame, unfaithful, intolerance, and so on and so on came and ruined a nice conversation that we had that night. I couldnt control myself, as a human being, to react positively or at least pretend to be cool. Everytime this name is said, spelled, and involved, the same feeling came to my mind, brain and of course the most sensitive, my heart.
Then, he said that he's so tired with my 14-month-problem. He's so sick of explaining and convincing me about her. After a while of silence, he said the sharpest sentence ever to me.
"Why you never trust me? That would cause lie. I prefer not to say and talk anything about her with you, to avoid your absurd jealousy. That was what you were doing with Firman as well, you prefered not to say than have to face his 1000 questions!"
I was increadibly speechless...that was right, all acceptable.
That was exactly what i was doing. It became one of the case of my brakeup. I realize that honesty would always be an important thing in relationship, but sometimes there are so many reasons behind why we prefer not to be honest, and my case is one of them.
Here, I sort of promise honestly and full of profundity that I will believe you faithfully. I wont ask for another convincing statement or another i-love-you that made a fake comfort for me. I do tired of being like this. I want get rid all of this 'T' thing. And i will start by saying..
"Hit me with your stories, even the most jealous-making one. And I wont be jealous at all ! 2 euros per jealous-movement! ahahhahaha"
2 comments:
imho... trust is the problem.. not jealousy here. No worries.. putting trust in somebody is as hard as putting thread in a needle hole... sometimes it is easy sometimes it is as difficult as hell no matter what type of needle it is :D
Jealous Put?? Sama dong..
Susah emang yah.. :p
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