Saat Ku Sendiri Adalah Saat Aku Bisa Merasakan Semua Yang Tidak Bisa Kurasakan Saat Tak Sendiri.

Satu kali lagi kukatakan bahwa memang itu membuatku bahagia
Yang terpenting bukan hanya bahagia tapi penuh dan lengkap
Yang memberiku sebuah kebohongan termanis
Menjadi sebuah besar
Aku ingat bahwa memang aku sebuah kecil
Dan semakin hari berlalu aku benar-benar makin sadar bahwa aku sebuah kecil
Ternyata selama ini aku dibodohi

Kapan aku tersadar adalah detik ini
Saat sedang menjadi sebuah kecil dan sendiri
Kini aku baru merasa aku telah dibohongi
Aku meronta karena kehilangan kebohongan itu dan ingin kembali kepada kebohongan
Manis sekali rasanya

Saat sendiri aku dibayangi banyak hal aneh
Bukan hanya ingin menangis dan meronta dan marah dan benci
Bukan hanya sendiri dan sepi dan kasihan dan diam
Tapi juga ingin bangun dan ingin berubah dan ingin bergerak
Tapi juga ingin jujur dan bicara dan teriak

Lagi aku hanya sebuah kecil
Dan kebohongan terlalu manis dan indah buatku
Untuk sementara waktu aku memilihnya
Aku tahu aku akan selalu begini
Seperti ini
Perlahan mati perlahan lenyap perlahan hilang
Perlahan nikmat perlahan senyum perlahan melayang

Gossiping; Gossiper; Gossip

Main Entry: ²gossip
Function: intransitive verb
: to relate gossip
- gos·sip·er noun


Main Entry: ¹gos·sip
Pronunciation: 'gä-s&p
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English gossib, from Old English godsibb, from god god + sibb kinsman, from sibb related -- more at SIB
1 a dialect British : GODPARENT b : COMPANION, CRONY c : a person who habitually reveals personal or sensational facts about others
2 a : rumor or report of an intimate nature b : a chatty talk c : the subject matter of gossip

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I could say that gossip is part of my life, its part is even bigger than reading or listening music. For some people like me, gossiping is more or less counted as a daily routine. Why? Because it gives you enough satisfaction, time-consuming, interesting, gain your knowledge about people, and one of the ways to have daily self-reflection. People usually assume Gossip as a negative activity rather than try to have some positive effects of gossiping. One of them is Healthy. And I will tell you that gossip is not always untrue, but often could be a fact, which is passed by people.

What do you talk about when you are gossiping?? People!
People are the most interesting creature in the world to talk about. When it is categorized as a gossip is when you are talking that particular person behind their back, it could be bad or good. Truthfully we could not avoid hearing or passing a gossip, because gossiping is almost counted as a way of life. It is a common thing.

I will let myself think if I were the one who has been gossiped. I had been there in that position and it was not for the good one. What I felt was horribly shame and mad. I could not really think why such a gossip happened to me, did I do something wrong and so on, and so on. But as it was merely a gossip, I could do nothing, at all. I could not just throw my suspect away and kill him/her. It is also stupid if you have to clarify and come to each person, or even make a press conference. Who the heck am I? One thing I should consider that time is people don’t give too much shit on gossip. It will cost you time but not long enough so it could kill you. I just let it go and let the time pass them away. That was what I did.

Now, I will put myself again as a gossiper. I like to be on the save side, everyone does. Every time you do this gossip thingies, I guarantee you that you will feel a very good mood, you can laugh, you even can cry, basically you will feel many happiness and satisfaction (note: if you do like gossiping). But the most important thing about gossip is that you can never pass it to everyone you like, unless you are a journalist of one of those Indonesian infotainment programs. Because here you are about to pass either a fact or lie about someone to someone, you have to be really sure of who is the person you are talking to. You even have to really consider them even if he/she is your friend. Why? Because your friend has friends, and those friends have friends, and those friends have again other friends whom now you won’t be able to count. Such relationship will endanger you; you will never know that a friend of friend of your friend is a friend of that particular person who is being gossiped. He/she who will tell the gossip to the person will ruin your life, your daily life, your friendship, your relation and everything. You even won’t know person who ruin your life.

Now I will tell you again one of my own gossip experiences. I have made several mistakes in gossiping, most of them is because I picked the wrong person to pass to. It started 2 months ago when me and my friends made fun with, called it, my teacher. We made a silly gossip without any special intention which is basically done because our teacher was late. We were so boring and a bit mad so we could not help ourselves not to make that stupid gossip. After that day ended we simply forgot it. Times went by, about two weeks later I had another meeting with our teacher. I don’t really know why our teacher is really like being late or it is some kind of habit for that person, but again our teacher late. It’s not because we don’t want to understand our teacher but our teacher keeps doing that and it became so damn annoying. So, we talked about that stupid gossip again in that meeting, made fun out of it and laugh. Purely just that! We did not aware that in the same time there was someone listening what we were gossiping as well. We really did not know that this person would be the key of my horrible story.

About a week ago, I and my friend were on the way with our teacher. The music was turned out loud while our teacher started the conversation. Our teacher started by saying ‘just wanna share my little thought’. Our teacher told me that there was a gossip spread about that our teacher has been having an affair. Our teacher got a mail concerning a warning that our teacher has been gossiped. The mailer heard the story from a girl who is the gossipers’ friend. It was the first shock to me. Then our teacher continued the story and told us that the gossiper was people who in fact are close to our teacher. That was the second shock that made everything’s clear that we are the one, the gossiper. Nothing could be more horrible than sitting there and listening the story which is our own story. Nothing could be more shameful than pretending that it was a story about someone else and having a fake smile. Nothing could be more than that night. But fortunately our teacher had a big heart, the story ended by our teacher saying that our teacher just will let it go….

My story won’t end here. After we were dropped in our house, we run some kind of hypothesis of what was happening, who might be the suspect who was being so stupid passing that stupid gossip to the mistake person. First discussion ended blank, we had no person. Secondly, we included our boyfriend. They gave some opinions who coincidentally so make sense. The Hypothesis is that the suspect coincidentally overheard the gossip. Then the suspect really did not know that the gossip is the really a joke and no fact involved. Unintentionally the suspect passed it to the person who the suspect though is trustable. This second person accidentally has sort of extra concern toward our teacher, so that second person spent special times to write our teacher that letter which concerns a warning and led to our tragedy.

After this event, I could not just stop to think what if our hypothesis is right. I could not believe it. Our suspect has bad reputation in gossiping, we could say unprofessional, amateur, incompetent, slack or whatever. Hehehe… but this event made me learns how to pass a gossip to the right person, and not to say anything to the suspect ever again! We could never know the right person to gossip with until they uncover themselves.

Being picky is the key!!!